im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Randomize
