Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
