How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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