I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
