Buhtt sex?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
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i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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