Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Randomize