Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
