Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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