Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
