Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
