Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize