Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
