Already got asked if we're dating
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
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the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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