The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
