I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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