she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize