Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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