Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize