Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
