did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
