ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
