how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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