I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
