cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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