Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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