thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize