She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
