Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
