college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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