How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
