You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
