woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
