Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
