You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
