Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
