just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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