Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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