idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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