why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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