they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
