did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
