Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
