Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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