I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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