I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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