cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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