do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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