I cannot find my penis.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
