problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
