My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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