I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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