Sry I called you an 8
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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