The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?