If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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