Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it