I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
