Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
