On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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