Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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