I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
