I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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