im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
