Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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