We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
