We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
