he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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