id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
